Its my Birthday and I'll cry if I want to!

Well I know I haven't posted many pics lately. With a new phone not connecting well and well just a crappy computer, but thankful to have one at all, I am lucky to type now and then.

WEll today I am another year older, can't at all say wiser, but definately older and can feel it. I don't know if it is all mental but the 1 after the uh, well 30 just is awful. It is both dawnting to write and think about. I'm old. Not on deaths bed, but old. The body knows it too. I was hoping to fit into my wedding dress at moms again. Don't think so. The body is different and refuses to let me think I can be that again. One day for I HAVE A DREAM. I can cry all I want, but I can't stop time, just enjoy the ride downhill is all. Smiling might help, screaming at times too does wonders.

For my Bday, we spent the morning at the hospital for Kowen to have a small minor surgery that went well and he was home swinging and jumping on trampoline immediately. He woke up hungry and wanting to go home and play with uncle bob who was nice enough to watch kilee and kandon since it was FURLOUGH FRIDAY -oh how we love those days off, not.
Later, we lounged and sent kilee off in a limo. A sweet white suburban like one. Can you believe here a mom splurged on an 8 yr olds bday with a limo for 11 plus girls riding around town and then a huge blow up slide tomorrow. Can you believe I let my daughter go off in a limo w strangers I've never met? Oh well I know where they live huh. jk. Gone are the days of simple sleepovers. Yet I am not one to beat the Jones, so sorry Kandon you have a regular sleepover next wk. Poor boy.

Well since Twilight I have read many books which I didn't use to do. So Cliff has noticed and splurged on an Amazon kindle for me. Now I just have to get over my cheapskate idea of rent from library and return and actually buy something to read. I also have to get rid of the idea to actually hold a book I buy and put on shelf. Now it seems money for nothing I can't hold, but I'm sure i'll get over it, especially if I buy twilight huh. not.

I'm acutally into the beverly lewis amish books. Seem fun. Need to spend more time on my baby clothes quilts for the kids or geneology, maybe having to buy books will get me to spread out the time I read.

Or maybe we can finally have that couple time and read a book together like we start and never finish.

So Life is short , fast, and running out. So as birthdays always remind us to catch up on what we miss, fix whats wrong, and set goals for future, bc we will be old, well older in 12 months n counting. They also give us the chance to break diets and eat brownies. I decided against the cake, or cheesecake since I'd eat the whole thing myself, and made brownies. The kids were begging to open the presents and didn't want to wait, but mom wanted her bday song. So I finished the brownines, cooled like 5 min, n I have to have them hot or not at all, so i quickly stuck 31 candles in the brownies, oops telling my age, and lit them. Do you know before I could do that n blow, all candles were melted to the string, falling and wax in brownies. yummie, but got job done w icecream n sauce. delicious .

What can u say about my Life. Lots of good memories from pics of the old days of college n growing up. Some forgotten some want to forget, but mostly fun , oh yeah I forgot that.

I'm trying to put together a scrapbook for kilees baptism, but its just a humongus stack right now and not much time left. I am so thankful to be a part of the technology age and well just have pictures and the ability to remember at anytime. We say we will remember, but without pictures or journals life is definately lost in the chaos.

Well I'm starting to jumble my thoughts and not speak well, so I think I will cut my losses and go to bed early. Hey its my bday and dad can put them to bed huh. Sweet, maybe sneak a brownie treat.

Motherhood must contain laughter to survive.

Well I am always amazed at the funny things kids say. Despite all the craziness that comes with it, motherhood is filled with laughter. One example is when Kowen just came into the house while I was upstairs. He said, " Mom, I know you are in here, come out, come out, where ever you are." He is so cute.

Kandon has a spiritual example. We were discussing in FHE about trees and people needing stakes when young to help us grow straight, then we don't need so many ones when older and Kandon was explaining how when older and on own can read scriptures, say prayers, go to church, have a good sin. yep it was a hilarious. We all know how much that strengthens us, not.

As Kilee's baptism approaches I am reading her journal and asking for favorite stories about her and the funny ones always stick out, but just trying to remember her when little til now is moving. Although its been years, it seems so short of a time. Do I really have a daughter of baptism age?

Well life happens and I must return, dinner awaits. May all moms smile tomorrow and count their many blessings both as moms and wives and daughters too.